“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. Our recommendation is all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” This piece of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, speaking, glasses-wearing member of the slimy Gremlin horde that infests Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s merely an financial suggestion from one monster to another. Yet, in a strange manner, it’s also remarkably sound life advice. Honestly, listen to my reasoning.
When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin grasps this. Actually, a large portion of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s unrestrained 1990 movie (possibly his finest) possess the same wry, meta comic sensibility regarding the indistinct border separating daily routine and pure pandemonium. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and with the passage of time, it’s the underlying idea that strikes the deepest chord.
Naturally, my attachment to this movie didn’t start on such an philosophical plane. As a child, we possessed merely a few battered VHS tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a chunky ex-rental box almost certainly acquired from an off-brand video shop and featuring growling monsters on its tattered front. I was immediately enamoured and these films quickly proceeded inserting themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. From then on, they became an almost-daily part of my childhood viewing routine.
Dante’s original usually receives all the plaudits, thanks mostly because of its reputation as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its successor rarely gets the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d lock myself inside and stick it on. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. Gradually, it became deeply rooted in my mindset. If my parents noticed this obsession, they appeared unbothered.
As I grew, new revelations rewarded frequent screenings, heightening the enjoyment of watching little green monsters happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking development mogul and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on future president Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his one-time partner Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp has more heart than his genuine article inspiration.
The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was inspired by a actual “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film varying versions of a meta sequence where Gremlins hijack the actual feature in progress. One for cinemas, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each offering a winking bit of self-referential entertainment sorcery before the term was even a thing.
While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that caught my eye as a child, this hidden treasure held my interest as an adult. In time, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation revealing to me he made the movie with the direct intention of mocking those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This Looney Tunes-esque insubordination and resolve to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only increased my affection for it.
When I went through a abrupt familial death not long ago, I was astonished to realize that, during my deepest grief, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Possibly not. The comforting familiarity it offered was necessary to thin out my mind’s mourning mire – but the perspectives it had imparted to me as an adult were similarly beneficial.
Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just cannot manage. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to be like them: welcome the pandemonium, invest all your resources into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.
It’s strong life advice from a highly unexpected fountain – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my comfort movie.
A seasoned gaming analyst with over a decade of experience in online casinos, specializing in slot machine mechanics and player psychology.