Should My Wannabe Influencer Friend Stop Exploiting People for Material?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?